Have you ever felt like pulling your hair out in frustration over the behaviors of your teenager?
I honestly never understood that whole concept. Pulling your hair out is an evocative phrase, a mental image of being at your wits’ end but actually doing it seems silly and unreasonable at best. Yet, I found myself in this cartoonish stance in a moment of heart-sinking realization.
I vividly recall standing in my kitchen one day rushing to get my 6 kids and myself in order. I had plans. I was committed to a function (one of many) and there was one thing after another getting in my way of getting us all out the door. I remember shouting directions, hurriedly answering questions, being aggravated that things hadn’t been done as they should have been. I was fussing at the kids, they were fussing with each other. I was resentful that I had to drop a few of them off at their own events and yet they were not ready and making me late for my own commitment. I remember a sudden feeling of hopelessness, a sinking feeling, a knowledge that I had no control. I stood holding my head in such frustration and before I knew it I had two fists full of my own hair and was tugging and clenching my jaw. Not a proud moment.
I was totally at sea as to how to bring order to our lives. And even though I loved them to the moon and back, I had no idea how to monitor, manage, or mitigate unwanted behaviors, especially with my kids going through adolescence. I needed help and I need it NOW!
Youth and Adolescent Relationships (YAR) grew from my need to understand the adolescent phases of my children. You can read the whole story in my book, The Identity Crisis of Parenting: A Short Guide To Relief. This book was written in hindsight with the hope that those who need the information now as much as I did then, will find it and thereby find relief.
Meanwhile, here’s a short introductory video about YAR. My hope is that you’ll find the help you need much sooner than I did. Your kid’s teenage years do not have to be painful for either of you.
Wishing you all the best,